


No Fucking Emoticons

by polariscope



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Gen Fic, M/M, Pre-Slash, Spoilers, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 20:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polariscope/pseuds/polariscope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's correspondence with the demon Meg while Castiel is in her care. Entire fic is in cell phone format. Spoilers up to 7.18. Pretty Gen, but it can be interpreted freely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Fucking Emoticons

> > From: **231-662-2911**  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 4:05 pm_
>> 
>> What are you wearing? xoxo
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 4:14 pm_
>> 
>> Don’t bullshit me, Meg.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **231-662-2911**  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 4:17 pm_
>> 
>> Don’t be like that, Dean. If you want me to help you, we’re going to need to be friends.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 4:20 pm_
>> 
>> Or you could stick to your job, update me, and I don’t show up there and tell Cas to get rid of you for good.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **231-662-2911**  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 4:22 pm_
>> 
>> Better threats, Dean. He’s practically a vegetable.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **231-662-2911**  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 4:23 pm_
>> 
>> There, I’m updating you ;)
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 4:30 pm_
>> 
>> No fucking emoticons.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **231-662-2911**  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 4:32 pm_
>> 
>> Wow, smiles bother you?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 5:10 pm_
>> 
>> Nothing? Going to ignore me?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 12th, 2012 7:47 pm_
>> 
>> If that’s all you got, we’re done for today.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 14th, 2012 10:10 am_
>> 
>> He’s so pathetic when he’s sedated. Doesn’t realize we’re talking to him. Drools! So not as sexy as I remember.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 14th, 2012 11:47 am_
>> 
>> Get over it.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 14th, 2012 6:51 pm_
>> 
>> Does he talk?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 14th, 2012 7:16 pm_
>> 
>> No.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 14th, 2012 7:35 pm_
>> 
>> Not to us, at least. He mumbles in other languages.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 6:21 am_
>> 
>> He puked last night. Gross. I hate cleaning angel guts. I thought he didn’t eat.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 6:40 am_
>> 
>> Oh, never mind. They started tube feeding him yesterday. I was wondering when they would start to freak about the no eating thing.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 6:43 am_
>> 
>> Feathery guy didn’t even realize something was in his skin. Jesus.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 6:51 am_
>> 
>> Meg it’s fucking 6am
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 8:19 am_
>> 
>> How is he now?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 8:26 am_
>> 
>> Looking like shit. Nothing new.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 8:31 am_
>> 
>> They going to keep feeding him?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 8:38 am_
>> 
>> I’ll try to pull the tube when they’re not looking or something.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 9:49 pm_
>> 
>> What a headache.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 16th, 2012 9:57 pm_
>> 
>> You get what you sign up for.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 17th, 2012 4:24 pm_
>> 
>> He came to. Wants to call Emmanuel's wife and talk to her.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 17th, 2012 4:32 pm_
>> 
>> Tell him we talked to her already, if he's still there.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 17th, 2012 4:34 pm_
>> 
>> He wants to know what you said.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 17th, 2012 4:40 pm_
>> 
>> We did the best we could. We said he remembered who he was and is now in a mental institute. She didn't have the best reaction. Only so much you can do.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 17th, 2012 5:13 pm_
>> 
>> The doctors let him call her. I didn't get to hear it. He hasn't said anything since.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 17th, 2012 7:40 pm_
>> 
>> Ok.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 20th, 2012 1:40 pm_
>> 
>> Nothing?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 20th, 2012 1:58 pm_
>> 
>> Like I told you on the phone, not a word.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 20th, 2012 2:18 pm_
>> 
>> He stares at the wall like it offends him. He didn't even want a kiss :(
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 20th, 2012 2:40 pm_
>> 
>> Ugh.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 12:12 pm_
>> 
>> The doctors want to put him in a jacket.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 12:15 pm_
>> 
>> What? 
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 12:37 pm_
>> 
>> Why?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 1:07 pm_
>> 
>> Answer me, god dammit.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 1:49 pm_
>> 
>> It's laughable. These doctors don’t realize he could break that jacket in a second. All those divine powers. Good thing our dear boy’s so good at keeping them in check.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 1:51 pm_
>> 
>> I bet Lucifer realizes what a great opportunity that body is. What do you think?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 1:55 pm_
>> 
>> I’m not your chat buddy here. What happened?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 1:58 pm_
>> 
>> Attacked himself. Practically scratched his arms off. Blood everywhere.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 2:05 pm_
>> 
>> Is he going to be alright?  
>  **Message unsent. Saved to drafts.**
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 2:13 pm_
>> 
>> Just do what the doctors want.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 2:20 pm_
>> 
>> Easy for you to say. They think he’s going to kill himself. I don't know what to do.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 2:55 pm_
>> 
>> Nothing?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 21st, 2012 4:22 pm_
>> 
>> Fine.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 22nd, 2012 1:27 am_
>> 
>> I could come back  
>  **Message Failed: Send cancelled by user.**
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 27th, 2012 5:01 pm_
>> 
>> Well?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 27th, 2012 5:19 pm_
>> 
>> Well, what?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 27th, 2012 5:25 pm_
>> 
>> Don't screw with me. It's been a week.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 27th, 2012 5:28 pm_
>> 
>> Yeah, well, there's nothing to say. I get him in and out of his jacket. I scratch his back when he squirms. I pretend to escort him to the bathroom. He ignores everyone's existence. It's a pain in the ass. What do you want?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 27th, 2012 8:19 pm_
>> 
>> Is he aware of anything?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 27th, 2012 8:38 pm_
>> 
>> Dean, he might as well be a statue outside a church.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 30th, 2012 10:07 am_
>> 
>> What a jerk. He only talks when he wants me to tell you something.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 30th, 2012 10:14 am_
>> 
>> Cry more.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 30th, 2012 10:17 am_
>> 
>> Shut up, I don't have to help you.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 30th, 2012 10:23 am_
>> 
>> From where I'm standing, yeah you do.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _March 30th, 2012 10:30 am_
>> 
>> Whatever. He said to tell Sam he's sorry. 
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _March 30th, 2012 11:21 am_
>> 
>> Yeah, well. We know.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 1st, 2012 12:03 pm_
>> 
>> He just confessed his eternal, undying love to me. We're going to elope.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 1st, 2012 12:10 pm_
>> 
>> Stuff it, Meg. I know what day it is.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 1st, 2012 12:13 pm_
>> 
>> Not my fault sexy wings is no fun.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 1st, 2012 12:43 pm_
>> 
>> Aren't you glad Lucifer doesn't know human holidays?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 2:38 pm_
>> 
>> Dean?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 2:55 pm_
>> 
>> What?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:06 pm_
>> 
>> It's me.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:14 pm_
>> 
>> Wow, thanks.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:16 pm_
>> 
>> Wait, Cas??
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:19 pm_
>> 
>> Yes.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:21 pm_
>> 
>> Meg, you better not be fucking with me.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:24 pm_
>> 
>> She's asleep.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:31 pm_
>> 
>> Wanna prove it's not Lucifer, either?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:39 pm_
>> 
>> You take your shoes off to crack your toes when you drive. Sometimes you grind your teeth in your sleep.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:41 pm_
>> 
>> Well, damn. That's not creepy at all.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:44 pm_
>> 
>> Oh. Should it be?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:46 pm_
>> 
>> Good, it's you. Sarcasm, though, dude.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:47 pm_
>> 
>> By the way, Lucifer could've known those things too. Sam, remember?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:49 pm_
>> 
>> Will you pick up if I call?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:52 pm_
>> 
>> I think the doctors might get suspicious if they hear me talking.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:54 pm_
>> 
>> Oh. Ok.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:55 pm_
>> 
>> How are you?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 3:59 pm_
>> 
>> I am alright.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:01 pm_
>> 
>> Yeah fucking right.  
>  **Message unsent. Saved to drafts.**
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:02 pm_
>> 
>> Do you want me to come back?  
>  **Message unsent. Saved to drafts.**
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:03 pm_
>> 
>> Do you want us to come  
>  **Message unsent. Saved to drafts.**
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:04 pm_
>> 
>> Need us to kill Meg yet?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:10 pm_
>> 
>> I could do so if I needed. However, she is helpful.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:14 pm_
>> 
>> Want us to spring you from there?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:16 pm_
>> 
>> 'Cause we could use some help out here with the Leviathans.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:21 pm_
>> 
>> Dean, I can't.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:22 pm_
>> 
>> I'm sorry.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:24 pm_
>> 
>> It's okay.  
>  **Message failed: Send cancelled by user.**
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:41 pm_
>> 
>> I've been considering a method that may perhaps kill Lucifer. It also may protect those around me, in the event I cannot control him.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 4:58 pm_
>> 
>> What method?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 5:00 pm_
>> 
>> Haven't you been doing fine so far?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 5:31 pm_
>> 
>> Cas?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 5:49 pm_
>> 
>> CAS.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 5:55 pm_
>> 
>> If you do something stupid, I swear to  
>  **Message unsent. Saved to drafts.**
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 7:27 pm_
>> 
>> I've got my phone back, Dean.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 7:31 pm_
>> 
>> What happened?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 7:45 pm_
>> 
>> I don't know. I woke up and he was staring at his favorite wall. He said he was sorry for taking my phone. That's it.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 5th, 2012 7:52 pm_
>> 
>> I said don't bullshit me, Meg.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \----
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 10:37 am_
>> 
>> Bad week.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 11:21 am_
>> 
>> Elaborate any fucking time you feel like.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:02 pm_
>> 
>> He had some angelic hissy fit out loud with Lucifer. Well, I'm assuming.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:07 pm_
>> 
>> This is the first time?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:09 pm_
>> 
>> Something like that.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:12 pm_
>> 
>> And?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:16 pm_
>> 
>> It sounds like he wants his little boyfwend back.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:18 pm_
>> 
>> What?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:20 pm_
>> 
>> He's been saying your name, dearie.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:22 pm_
>> 
>> What do you mean by that?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:25 pm_
>> 
>> Can you get to the goddamn point.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:41 pm_
>> 
>> Screw you, Meg. I will come with my knife.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:50 pm_
>> 
>> Maybe you should.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 12:53 pm_
>> 
>> What the hell?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 1:01 pm_
>> 
>> Fine. I lied. He's been talking out loud for about a week. To you, I think. Or what he thinks is you. He argues with you as if you're there. He'll apologize to me but
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 1:01 pm_
>> 
>> use your name, trying to defend himself. I don't know what's going on in that pretty ass head of his, but he's adamant about it.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 1:05 pm_
>> 
>> And you're just telling me this today
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 10th, 2012 1:07 pm_
>> 
>> You giant bitch.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 11th, 2012 7:10 pm_
>> 
>> I'm on my way.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 11th, 2012 7:24 pm_
>> 
>> Like that will help at all.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 11th, 2012 7:26 pm_
>> 
>> It'll just make him more confused and psychotic.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 11th, 2012 8:21 pm_
>> 
>> I'll figure something out.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 11th, 2012 8:24 pm_
>> 
>> Whatever shit he's spewing to me, I want him to say it to fucking me.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 11th, 2012 10:34 pm_
>> 
>> I'll be there in two days.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 7:15 am_
>> 
>> Dean, don't come.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 7:21 am_
>> 
>> Stop me, then.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 7:34 am_
>> 
>> Dean, I don't want you to.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 7:36 am_
>> 
>> Cas?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 7:40 am_
>> 
>> Will I need to prove it again?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 7:49 am_
>> 
>> No. That's fine.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 7:51 am_
>> 
>> What's going on?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 7:53 am_
>> 
>> And don't you dare lie to me.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 8:01 am_
>> 
>> I didn't realize I let him in. I'm sorry. I thought it was you.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 8:05 am_
>> 
>> I'm in control now.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 8:08 am_
>> 
>> Do you think I believe that?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 8:14 am_
>> 
>> You were going to do something I wouldn't approve of, and you conjured a fake me to argue to, didn't you?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 8:14 am_
>> 
>> Care to let me in on this discussion we had?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 8:16 am_
>> 
>> That's not a request.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 12th, 2012 8:20 am_
>> 
>> Cas, I get it out of you here or when I get there.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> **8:29 am: Outgoing call to _Demon Bitch_ (231-662-2911)**
>> 
>> "Hello, Dean."
>> 
>> "Oh, so you are there. Just ignoring me, then."
>> 
>> "You won't like what I have to say."
>> 
>> "Of course I won't. Let's hear it."
>> 
>> "Dean."
>> 
>> "Yeah. Speaking. Good to hear your voice."
>> 
>> "... How do I know this is real?"
>> 
>> "You don't."
>> 
>> "I want to."
>> 
>> "Well, ask me something. Something only I could know the answer to."
>> 
>> "It doesn't work like that. He could skew my own perception of what I want to hear. He could make me think whatever he says is right. He has my memories."
>> 
>> "What, then?"
>> 
>> "I don't know."
>> 
>> "Awesome."
>> 
>> "I can't believe anything, Dean. I have no tether to reality."
>> 
>> "Okay."
>> 
>> "I won't let myself move."
>> 
>> "Well, why don't you tell me- or, hang on."
>> 
>> "What?" 
>> 
>> "Get your trenchcoat."
>> 
>> "Why? I can't-"
>> 
>> "Get Meg to get it."
>> 
>> "I- alright."
>> 
>> "Let me know when you have it."
>> 
>> "... Okay."
>> 
>> "Got it?"
>> 
>> "Yes."
>> 
>> "Now, Lucifer can't know this because you don't know this, but there is a twenty dollar bill in the inside left pocket."
>> 
>> "Why?"
>> 
>> "I was hiding it from Sam. Check it."
>> 
>> "..."
>> 
>> "Well?"
>> 
>> "It is here."
>> 
>> "No one could've know that was there but me?"
>> 
>> "... Yes."
>> 
>> "So, there, you know. It's me."
>> 
>> "I suppose."
>> 
>> "Well, good enough. Now, what do I need to know?"
>> 
>> "I stand by what I said earlier."
>> 
>> "And I don't give a rat's fucking ass. Get to it."
>> 
>> "You won't-"
>> 
>> "Just spit it out."
>> 
>> "I... firmly believe the best route to defeat Lucifer is through the death of this vessel and, subsequently, myself as well."
>> 
>> "And that's exactly what I thought you'd say."
>> 
>> "Lucifer is merely a shadow on a soul now I've taken him from Sam. If I destroy the soul he's latched to, he can't survive. I see no other way. Sam didn't have the power I do for Lucifer to take advantage of. Every day I live, I'm putting others in danger."
>> 
>> "Yeah, well, great plan except for one thing. It's bullshit."
>> 
>> "Dean."
>> 
>> "What? You can be such a coward, you know that?"
>> 
>> "There's no other opt-"
>> 
>> "Oh, don't. That's a selfish, dick-headed move in my book."
>> 
>> "Sacrifice?"
>> 
>> "Giving up."
>> 
>> "A bit hypocritical considering your willingness to do the same with Michael."
>> 
>> "And who beat the living daylights of that idea out of my head, huh?"
>> 
>> "If I remember correctly, that wasn't what changed your mind."
>> 
>> "So? You can guarantee I'll fight you right back tooth and nail if you attempt to do the same. The minute I get there. I'll give as good as I got."
>> 
>> "Tell me what other option I have."
>> 
>> "God, this is a familiar conversation with you, isn't it? Why is there always only one fucking choice? And why does this choice have to be suicide?"
>> 
>> "Feel free to suggest some better other way, then. Or do you not remember what happened the last time I tried to fight back?"
>> 
>> "Well, don't make stupid decisions this time. Don't work with devious bastards."
>> 
>> "Like how you don't?"
>> 
>> "Yes."
>> 
>> "Dean, you, of all people, should know sarcasm. Whose phone is this?"
>> 
>> "Dammit, Cas."
>> 
>> "Give me another option."
>> 
>> "Fight him."
>> 
>> "Why? How is that a better choice than destroying him? If I fail-"
>> 
>> "Don't fail, then."
>> 
>> "Dean."
>> 
>> "I don't want you to fucking die, Cas."
>> 
>> "I don'- what?"
>> 
>> "You heard me. Don't put me through that again. I already begged you once not to leave."
>> 
>> "And I let you down."
>> 
>> "Yeah, you did."
>> 
>> "Don't I deserve this, then? Dying?"
>> 
>> "You spineless prick, that's the easy way out. You fucked up. You owe Sam. And me. For the rest of our lives. You're going to stick around, because you _owe_ us that. A long, long time of cleaning up your mess. Beating the Leviathans and the demons and all the other shit we've got to deal with. You're going to get Lucifer under control, and you're going to stay with us, you hear me?"
>> 
>> "I-"
>> 
>> "Cas, I want the day when I forgive you. Don't deny me that. Don't deny me the days we can still have."
>> 
>> "Why?"
>> 
>> "Do I have to come and punch you or not?"
>> 
>> "..."
>> 
>> "Answer me."
>> 
>> "...No, Dean. You won't have to do that. I'll be here."
>> 
>> "Good. I'll see you soon."
>> 
>> **8:51 am: Call to _Demon Bitch_ (231-662-2911) ended.**
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \----
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 13th, 2012 11:03 am_
>> 
>> Tell him I'm here.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 15th, 2012 10:25 pm_
>> 
>> Can I come in yet?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 15th, 2012 10:27 pm_
>> 
>> No. Go away and stop knocking, Meg.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 17th, 2012 12:31 pm_
>> 
>> Know when you're going to pop in again?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 17th, 2012 12:45 pm_
>> 
>> No. Just do your job. Keep him kicking.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 17th, 2012 12:50 pm_
>> 
>> Yeah, yeah. You only told me a hundred times.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 19th, 2012 5:31 pm_
>> 
>> Thank you, Dean.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 19th, 2012 5:40 pm_
>> 
>> Stop stealing Meg's phone, Cas.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 19th, 2012 5:45 pm_
>> 
>> Give my best to Sam.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 19th, 2012 5:51 pm_
>> 
>> I'll be back soon.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 19th, 2012 5:54 pm_
>> 
>> I know. I'll be here.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 19th, 2012 5:58 pm_
>> 
>> Yeah, you better.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 19th, 2012 6:01 pm_
>> 
>> Dean?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 19th, 2012 6:03 pm_
>> 
>> I know, Cas.
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> \---
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **Demon Bitch** (231-662-2911)  
>  Sent: _April 20th, 2012 9:26 am_
>> 
>> Stop flirting on my phone! >(
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> From: **755-555-0128**  
>  Sent: _April 20th, 2012 10:58 am_
>> 
>> What I did I say about the fucking emoticons?
>> 
>>  
>> 
>>  
>> 
>> **End.**

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:
> 
> 1) This is a bit of a strange precaution, but please do not contact the number used for Meg, as it is made up and I'm not positive if it's in use :| The number for Dean, however, is the one he gives out loud in 7.17 and doesn't work.
> 
> 2) I hope I didn't get any dates/times/etc. messed up in here. If you notice something off or if you're confused, please let me know. It's probably an error. (I checked so many times I made myself dizzy, so.)


End file.
